What Happened Then, A Thought for Now

Hey, welcome back to another episode of Tony's Cold Day in the Sun
... by the way, i don't think i have ever really said why i even chose that name for a title to this blog. well first off, the phrases are perfect opposite. The sun represents warmth, heat, light... yet the cold represents...well being cold and darkness and solitude. quite the contrast, i think its great how it represents so many things in just a couple of words. they completely contradict one another, yet we all know that its happened before... those winter days where the sun is out but the cold will not leave (yeah, remembering those recess days at school now right? god i miss elementary). but besides that, I also think it shows opportunity, how the sun still shines despite conditions presented. it still attempts to provide warmth, light, and keep life alive on the planet.... something we can all learn from. you have to try your best in everything you can, and know your responsibilities... and sometimes, despite the odds, you need to stand up and shine. Having a bad day? make it awesome, or at least try. if you don't try you can never succeed, and the golden words from Mr. Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" is all you need sometimes to get something out of nothing. Its also a Foo Fighters song, which is just very unique because their drummer takes the stage and sings this song, while the singer Dave Grohl took on the role of drummer, and played this song. its different, you can almost feel the cold in the song, but at the same time there is this energy... i think its pretty cool. anyways, that is why i chose it, for the above reasons. I thought it was appropriate... but maybe not anymore.

This blog is going under critical review, and a change in style might be happening... everything is in question at this point... I need a new direction, or at least a new take on this blog. I'm currently thinking about how im going to overhaul this blog so that it meets this new style im trying to grasp. So expect these next couple of blog posts to be random at best. Call it a transformation, a transition period.


well, the experiment is complete. for those who don't know, look at the previous posts, some of them are what i call "experiments". you will see if you decide to... anyways for the time being im shelving that idea. i might bring it back, but in good time. for those who did read those, i thank you for the support and time you took out of your day, even if it was just a minute, to read it. I hope you enjoyed them.

also, most of my posts have been more like a rant, not a post. but thats just how I write... and some posts might still be like that. but im going to try to change it up a bit, give the reader more variety than im currently offering. I'm trying to make the best blog experience for both myself in terms of expression, opinion, and freedom of speech; and for the reader in terms of variety. so maybe not for a couple of posts... weeks maybe. but eventually, there will be change.

I want to say more, but im going to keep some info in the dark for now... a lot of ideas are still too rough and too much just in my head to explain. So there's my update. Thank you if you are still reading, and if not, im sorry about wasting your life. go get that 2 minutes back of your life.

There is an.... idea for today though.
First off, i would like to apologize for not writing for a while... trust me i have tried.. I have 6 blog posts still in"review" due to their sheer randomness and potential controversy... and they kind of suck. I might post them later, but tonight this is what I have come up with.
Second. I would like to claim that I am a selfless bastard. why? If your reading this, you probably know me. I sacrifice my own interests for the interests of others... I try my best to make others happy. but this is because I want to make others feel happy, to make myself feel happy... because I know it will. All the wrong reasons right... well that's me. I'm not a saint that's easy to tell, but guess what you're no angel either. we are all equal, everyone has their flaws. love, is growing to love these flaws and accept them. the best kind of love is the unconditional kind (fuck, that sounds like its from Anderson's religion class  or something...).
Third. I would like to state that I have the best friends...seriously. Me and my friends have stuck together for years now... some through all of elementary school as well. We all stuck by our values and interests, and were still standing tall, holding the line. Other friends, have drifted away started drinking and smoking and doing drugs...
Fourth.... which brings me to a very controversial point... that I don't think some people might want to read. but remember, this is a matter of my opinion being posted in writing. if you have a problem with what I am about to say, come take it up with me in person... I would be happy to oblige. Doing drugs is fucking. stupid. say what you want, but this is my opinion, and I have no lack of respect or loss of likeness in people who do drugs, because the majority are awesome people. But i just think its pointless. same with drinking excessively underage. don't get me wrong, a couple of beers doesn't do anything, and won't hurt anybody, but drinking to much (mostly speaking to underage) is also just pointless in my eyes, and like i said above i have no lack of respect or likeness in people who do this because again, majority of the people who do this are really awesome people... but if you need an external substance to have fun or relieve stress or whatever you might say its good for... go back to your childhood roots. remember back in the day when recess was the best part of the day? when in the summer time, even though there was only 15 minutes for one small recess, people would run out to the field with smiles that could crack open the gates of heaven themselves, and just have fun? Now obviously when you grow up interests change and things.... but you don't need something external to have fun. Me and my friends have the best times just hanging out at lunch at school, or on the weekend playing risk, or on Xbox playing a game. I don't know, just my opinion. The other side of the argument is probably much more valid, but this is my point of view.
Fifth. I swear that i was adopted or something... or that i was born in the wrong time period.... i just feel like i don't fit in with many societal norms. Person: "Hey Tony are you going to semi?" Me: "nah" Person: "Why not? its so much fun" me: "id rather just go for a run". Person: ".......... ok :s" (walks away because of socially awkward Tony)


ok... if you have made it this far, you can see that im writing these a little different... and they will continue to become stranger and stranger. but you know what? as stated in one of my previous posts.... fuck it. and im sorry for my language... im just thinking out loud (also stated in one of my previous posts)

Im still going to do a song of the day.... but here is what i am thinking. i might post recordings or videos of me playing the song instead of just putting up the song... or maybe do a video log at the end of each week or something... i have no clue. any ideas or feedback (good or bad feedback, i love it all) would be greatly appreciated.

But today's song of the day is by 30 Seconds to Mars. don't like them? I like them, so yea.... The song im going to share with all of you wonderful people who are reading this blog is... a couple of songs. its hard to get a hold of this bands sound sometimes. so im going to post a couple of songs that I listen to a lot... I hope you all like them:)

30 Seconds to Mars: "Anarchy in Tokyo" off their album B- Sides and Rarities

30 Seconds to Mars: "A Beautiful Lie" off their album A Beautiful Lie (HIGHLY RECOMMEND ENTIRE ALBUM :) )

30 Seconds to Mars: "Echelon" off their self- titled album 30 Seconds to Mars

Well... thats it. Thank you all... and remember.. compliments are pretty cool to give to people.
see you all next time... well maybe not everyone who reads this. but maybe there will be some people who read the next one, and maybe some people who have read the ones before this, maybe even the few people who initially read the experiments.

Anyways :)

Ciao

Held the Darkness Over Day, that Night

Hey, how's everyone doing this fine day? (or whatever day you may be reading this on)
So, tomorrows Valentines day. There's a lot more I could say about this day, but when it comes down to it I say let people enjoy it if they have that significant other to enjoy it with, and those who don't can make the day their own, enjoy it in their own way, instead of whining and complaining... something I have been notorious for over my lifetime. Come to think of it, a significant portion of my life has been spent looking for pity and compassion.... I've only realized in the past months that what I have been doing was just plain old pathetic, but that's okay. You live and you learn right? Don't regret things, just reflect, learn, and move on. These things build character ... or at least that's what a good teacher has told me.

Anyways, today's topic is going to be about a couple of different things. First and foremost, Valentines Day.... What I think of it (expanding off the intro), what other people think of it, why it is important, and why it has such an effect on peoples emotions.
So Valentines Day... lived through 17 so far, so why cant I live through another? The day itself is just an ordinary day, but it has been Westernized and thrown at us through consumerism(im not sure if that is the right term, please correct me if I am wrong). It emphasizes romantic relationships and Western 'Love' so much that it almost does the opposite in turn... people without someone to share this exclusive experience with feel intensely left out, unloved, and generally not important. Me personally, I have felt it makes you feel like a complete outcast in a sense. But lets face it, its just another day of the week. You can choose to make it special if you wish, but in regards of not making it special, just treat it like any other day... and if its too hard to do that make it special, just not through love if love is not possible. I remember 2 years ago, what I did for Valentines day since nobody showed the slightest interest in me, was I went paint balling, and afterwards went home and watched Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (fucking love star wars). Sure I didn't have a love to share it with, but I had an awesome Valentines day. Doesn't have to be about love, make it about you. Take Valentines Day, kick its ass, and make it an excuse to just treat yourself if you can't treat others. Another great option is Charity, I know plenty of people who have done charity work Valentines day... what better way to spend Valentines day, the day of love by definition, and share your unconditional love with those who could truly use it.
Valentines Day is by no means a holiday that should be missed or 'deleted', but In my opinion (like every single blog post, remember that, all my opinion. probably not right, but in my mind its what i think) I think that it should be viewed from different lenses...if you know what I mean.
Also, guys and girls, Valentines Day doesn't mean that it is one of the only days where you have to be romantic, you should always treat your significant other, like they are your significant other... I don't mean like over-the-top romantic 24/7, but you know everyone could benefit from some more romantic events and surprises, even if it is something little. The little things give you away.... i stand by this statement. you can give her the most romantic, expensive Valentines Day she has ever had, but if you don't have these little moments of romance and love every now and then... it might not last. By no means am I a relationship guru, but that's just my opinion. For example: say your girlfriend stays home sick one day, or is really stressed out, stop by, give her her favourite flowers, tell her you love her, and I bet you that she will appreciate that more than you would think. that doesn't take much effort, much time, or really much thought, but it shows that you pay attention to the little things, and that you even made an effort should show signs of commitment and passion.
Ok... done that spiel. sorry if i got off track. my minds all over the place (like usual), but this blog really helps me clear my mind. just talking about it, ironing out my thoughts and emotions, its nice. nothing bottles up inside this way.
Next topic... well its really a statement. my confidence has skyrocketed in the past few weeks... why? I really have no clue, but all of a sudden.. I just don't care anymore. Like of-course i still care about stuff... but I now look at it this way. Think about it. you could wake up, and literally do whatever the fuck you want... seriously. (sorry for the language) Want to go to Europe? make some money and go. want to kick ass at school or kick someones ass? work at it. want to finally ask the girl you like, out for a movie date? go for it, no one and nothing is stopping you... once i finally drilled that concept into my head, i just don't care about things i used to anymore. I feel like i have really matured as a person, just from understanding that i could literally do whatever the fuck I want. Live life like your jumping off a cliff and you only have so much time to pull out your phone and tell the people you love that you love them and say whatever is left unsaid and everything. Live life like you only have 200 pages to write about your life, better go out there and have some pretty fucking awesome experiences right? exactly. No regrets, just keep moving forward. you only fail if you don't get back up when you fall. so get back up, get back in life's face, and kick its ass.
This post... really didn't have a theme did it... sorry haha. my bad, i just kept typing. I haven't stopped typing since i started. straight, forward thinking. sorry if this post sucks, but this is what it is. appreciate it, hate it, dont have an opinion about it, don't finish reading this, stop reading after this sentence, whatever floats your boat. Im just happy to know that I can vent like this, and knowing that some people actually read my blog(and experiments) really helps to. I would like to thank everyone who has even set eyes upon this blog, yet alone read it and go even further and look for the experiments. each and every one of you kick ass. like me or not, im saying your pretty cool.
Also, im going to do something big tomorrow... we will see how it goes. one can hope.

ok so song of the day... this is a tough choice... I haven't really been listening to one sole artist or song for a while... my iPod hasn't gone off shuffle for weeks.... neither has my computer. One song that has stuck out for me though, is "Summer's End" by "The Foo Fighters" off their album "Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace." This album is easily my favourite album by the Foo Fighters, every song is just brilliant in my opinion. This song has stuck out for me because of the cold weather recently... With little snow mind you. In my opinion... if its going to be cold it might as well be snowing. this isn't even winter anymore, its like a cold fall. the trees are dead, the grass is green, its -3 degrees, then its 6 degrees... at this point I just want it to be summer already... this song reminds me of summer in every aspect. so here it is, I hope you enjoy it as much as i do

"Summer's End" By The Foo Fighters off their album "Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace"

again, i would like to apologize for the inconsistency of this blog, particularly this post. it is what it is though, like it or not, ill keep going.
But a gargantuan thank you to those who do like it and read it, helps keep it going. knowing that people are at least listening, maybe not agreeing or calling me a complete idiot or selfish bastard or whatever it is, but the fact that they are listening is something right?

Thank you for reading,

Ciao

No one is gonna save us now

welcome one and all to the show, im wired up, fired up fucking ready to go

first post of 2012! exciting stuff... new years resolution? mine is to get into Brock U, and still have time to make the school soccer team. but today, im expanding on new years resolutions in a number of different ways, you will see as you read.

so first off, what are your resolutions? first time ive asked something like this, but feel free to comment and let me know! maybe i can help you achieve it, maybe i can talk about it in a blog post, or maybe it will give me ideas for a poem or something..

but what im talking about today is, first off, people who make resolutions and instantly break them, or very quickly break them. why would you pick something that was clearly so unobtainable? for me, i know i can get into Brock, i just need to keep up my hard work at school, and the soccer team is a bit of a stretch, but i think i can still do it. im talking about people who say, im never smoking again after this day, or im never drinking, doing drugs ect. it doesn't work like that people, these goals are so big and general that they are nearly impossible to complete. completing these goals requires a plan, and it takes a long, long time. of course the reward is big afterwards, but the process makes it almost unbearable. this process also applies to people who make promises or take on tasks to big for them to complete. you need to know your barriers, your values, your abilities, and in the end, you need to be comfortable with who you are, understand who you are, and be strong in what you believe in (not necessarily religion, but i guess that applies as well). for example, if someone walks up to me and says, tony you need to get pregnant (LOL) i know that, that is just not happening for clear reasons. now thats a very dramatic example but the context still applies in the end. another example, if someone tells me that Linkin Park sucks and that they have no talent, i will argue back because i am strong in what i believe in, my values, and for the most part, im comfortable with myself. i do not give a ********** if someone think otherwise, i like what i like, and they are just going to have to deal with it. this example applies to the same values and system i explained earlier but in different context. these values and being comfortable with yourself basically says how happy you are going to be in life. a guy could have little to nothing, but still be happy. and a millionaire can be depressed, you all know the drill. if that guy with little to nothing takes what he has and makes the best of it, why shouldn't he be happy? im getting way of context here, but its coming down to being reasonable with your resolutions and promises and being comfortable with yourself.

now, to move on to something a little more depressing, but it still has the same idea as a new years resolution. I strongly believe in this... Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment. think about it, hope sets you up for the possibility for failure. never play with hope, always go with instinct and a sure thing, settle for nothing less than the best, be the best you can be. people who hope to accomplish some of these resolutions are naive, for example, i know a guy who said he has like 40 new years resolutions and actually named each and every one off for me, many of them being so broad and general. im thinking to myself, dude, your setting yourself up for failure, for disappointment, this is false hope at its finest. anyone can get lucky, but the lucky can't get everything. hope, also sets up the possibility of success, but also the possibility of failure, you can't get one without the other in some way.. this is my thinking

hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

So that's it for today, i thought of another topic while typing this up actually, but thats for another blog

i would just like to thank every single person who even glanced at my blog, trolled my blog, hated my blog, commented on the blog, liked my blog, and anything else in between. all of you really make me want to keep on posting more and more of these, its a joy to write these now. im doing this blog for me, but its nice to know that i can do it for others as well, so a sincere thank you from me :)

the song of the day is by Linkin Park( again, sorry they are just the best thing ever in my eyes), and, well, its not even really a song, its a speech by Martin Luther King Jr. and its been beautifully, if not masterfully portrayed in this compilation by Linkin Park... its incredibly moving to me, and i hope to you as well. The song is off their album A Thousand Suns, and is called Wisdom, Justice, and Love. the way King's voice becomes more and more robotic and emotionless and ruthless as the song moves onward is masterfully done, and the concept behind it is beautiful. i hope you all understand it. This speech by Martin Luther is about how we as human beings are becoming more and more ruthless towards each other. As the song progresses onwards, King's voice becomes increasingly more emotionless and robotic just like we humans are becoming so emotionless to the point that we can do such horrible things, as mentioned in the speech, to each other.

Linkin Park: "Wisdom, Justice and Love" off their album A Thousand Suns

another day, another year... its incredible to think that this year im graduating highschool, and going to university and moving out... i feel like i have been ready for years but now that its finally here... i really regret not doing everything i could in life so far. The King of Regret, i have become

a very happy new year to you all

Peace out Sucka's!
Ciao