Wake

Welcome one and all to the show.

Today's post is the first post in a while where I just talk. If you haven't read any of the older posts, I encourage you to go through the archives and check em out; it's interesting to see how the blog itself has evolved as well as how I have progressed through the past year or so.

Looking back, its been a year since I started (a little more than a year)! Crazy to see how time flies.

Quick update: I've been trying to make this page much more appealing and easy to navigate... more organized if you will. Blogger however is stupid and either I can't for the life of me figure it out or the options simply do not exist. I'll continue to pursue this, for you the reader.

Exams are in a week and a bit, so this post will be the last until right before Christmas.
Also, tell me how im doing with the blog. Look at my reviews, my previous posts, and of course tell me how im doing with this post. I'm always open to constructive criticism, praise, whatever you got.

Prelude: I am going to tell you right now that this post will not have much structure at all. I haven't done this in a while so the little structure that it had before is gone.

Lets get into the nothing.

Do any of you wake up and think, "why am I awake?" I mean, who do you wake up for, why do you wake up, what encourages you to face the day. Maybe I am just thinking too much into things like usual, but honestly it's been bugging me for a while. We wake up, get ready, get on with the day. Why? Where's the encouragement? Do you wake up for yourself? Do you wake up to do something in particular? Do you wake up at the very thought of someone? Do you wake up and get out of bed just for the slight chance that your special someone will encounter you that day? Thinking to yourself, "Maybe today is the day that it happens; maybe today is the day that my life takes a turn for the better."

I guess what I am getting at is, what moves the floor that is beneath you? Just an idea to think about, as I get into the content of the blog.

I've found that the past two or three years, I have been waking up and asking myself those questions. Before that, I didn't question it. Maybe it just comes with age, maybe it's just part of the transition phase to adulthood, I don't know. About a quarter of my life is through, and to be honest I am anxious to see what life has in store for me. I've found that with age I have awoken a different, more brutal Tony. I'm now much more political, my thoughts are much darker in complexity and I've grown accustomed to small talk with other adults. Not only that, In class I find myself taking things from a more logical point of view, rather than the creative side I used to take things from. I don't know whats happened.

Maybe I just woke up.

Am I a better person for it? Probably not. It can be reflected in my poetry. I encourage you to look back in my archives and find the poetry, (again, ill try to categorize and organize everything later) and see how naive it is compared to the piece I am about to post (this week some time). I'm not saying that this new piece is going to be a work of art or anything, not in the slightest. I'm just saying the perspective and tone of the poetry has changed, at least when I look at them.

Thinking about it, I am going to compare this growth and change just as Linkin Park did. First two albums, sick. Really heavy music. Everything was stable. Then they changed, they got into this transition stage with Minutes to Midnight. Then after that they got into the completely different A Thousand Suns and Living Things. Maybe I am just in that Minutes to Midnight phase, where I am not sure whats happening, where I came from, or where I am going. Just a piece of work that has no real direction. That could be it. Who knows, that could be why I wake up and ask those questions.

This post is actually based off the first track on Minutes to Midnight, which I will review during Christmas Break. Wake, just an instrumental. Maybe that's it. No lyrics to my song, just direction. Lyrics come later, when I have something to write about. The journey is more important than the end or the start, and maybe that's where the lyrics come from. Maybe your song doesn't need lyrics

What will your song be? Your story? Your journey?

Will your song march to the beat of its own drum? Its own rhythm? Will your song even have lyrics, or will you let the music do the talking?
Will you be different, unique, what will your song portray about you? Will you let your actions define who you are, or will you tell everyone who you are? Maybe you will use lyrics to make your story a little more intricate.
Or maybe you will just wear a snap-back like every single other person and talk about sex, money, drugs, partying, and sexuality in your song. Sell out, your song becomes a hit. Your story. A hit. Really, it is just like many other songs out there. Everyone's song can be unique in its own way, but you refuse to show any diversity. You say compassion's a fault, and you'll never let it show. Maybe you have done this your entire life, just try to get by. Make your song appealing, and nothing more. I say, make your song different, from the heart. If no one likes it, so be it. Fact is, someone will though. There are people out there who appreciate diversity in opinion. Being different is something that rewards others more than yourself, but its rewards are plentiful.

On a side note, did anyone see the 100th Grey Cup halftime show yesterday? They were literally playing the song in the background so the artists could sing along to it. Why??? Not only that, the misrepresentation of Canadian music was atrocious. We as Canadians do not base our music around what all of those artists do. Beiber? Are you serious? Where's Rush(as much as I hate them, I can respect them), Billy Talent? That represents true Canadian Rock. Bieber represents the pop-industry. Which represents the same thing over and over again. See where the problem is? Not only that, anyone else see him meeting the Prime-Minister? Where does he get off disrespecting the Prime Minster and the rest of our generation by dressing like that? He is not above everyone else, he should have dressed professionally, at least a dress shirt and pants. Come on, its not that hard bro. Show some respect and maturity. You're my age, and frankly its embarrassing..

Back in the saddle.

Make your song sound different, make it controversial. Haters hate, its just the way it is.

Taking a different perspective on things, maybe it's a good thing that a lot of people act the same. In reality, it just makes the crop even sweeter, don't you think so? When you find people that are different, it makes them that much more awesome than they already are. I'm not claiming to be different, because In reality I know that I conform to some social norms. But I think I am being different enough by writing this post. By listening to what I listen to. By acting the way I act. Maybe that's why I have been stuck in this transition phase for a while, because I have been trying to find a balance between what is perceived to be "normal" and who I really am. Maybe you, the reader, are the same way.

In the end, this post was about waking up. Finding yourself, what your drive is, what your song is, how you will compose that song and how much risk you are willing to take to be different.
I know that there wasn't much structure, but I regret nothing. Look forward to the next post, which will be a poem. This week, probably...



Song of the day is by 30 Seconds to Mars off their Self-Title Album. Capricorn (A Brand New Name) is weird. And that's why I'm sharing it with you. Its a weird post, and such a weird post deserves a weird song.

Blame it on the broken heart.

Until next time,

Tony. 

What Happened Then, A Thought for Now

Hey, welcome back to another episode of Tony's Cold Day in the Sun
... by the way, i don't think i have ever really said why i even chose that name for a title to this blog. well first off, the phrases are perfect opposite. The sun represents warmth, heat, light... yet the cold represents...well being cold and darkness and solitude. quite the contrast, i think its great how it represents so many things in just a couple of words. they completely contradict one another, yet we all know that its happened before... those winter days where the sun is out but the cold will not leave (yeah, remembering those recess days at school now right? god i miss elementary). but besides that, I also think it shows opportunity, how the sun still shines despite conditions presented. it still attempts to provide warmth, light, and keep life alive on the planet.... something we can all learn from. you have to try your best in everything you can, and know your responsibilities... and sometimes, despite the odds, you need to stand up and shine. Having a bad day? make it awesome, or at least try. if you don't try you can never succeed, and the golden words from Mr. Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" is all you need sometimes to get something out of nothing. Its also a Foo Fighters song, which is just very unique because their drummer takes the stage and sings this song, while the singer Dave Grohl took on the role of drummer, and played this song. its different, you can almost feel the cold in the song, but at the same time there is this energy... i think its pretty cool. anyways, that is why i chose it, for the above reasons. I thought it was appropriate... but maybe not anymore.

This blog is going under critical review, and a change in style might be happening... everything is in question at this point... I need a new direction, or at least a new take on this blog. I'm currently thinking about how im going to overhaul this blog so that it meets this new style im trying to grasp. So expect these next couple of blog posts to be random at best. Call it a transformation, a transition period.


well, the experiment is complete. for those who don't know, look at the previous posts, some of them are what i call "experiments". you will see if you decide to... anyways for the time being im shelving that idea. i might bring it back, but in good time. for those who did read those, i thank you for the support and time you took out of your day, even if it was just a minute, to read it. I hope you enjoyed them.

also, most of my posts have been more like a rant, not a post. but thats just how I write... and some posts might still be like that. but im going to try to change it up a bit, give the reader more variety than im currently offering. I'm trying to make the best blog experience for both myself in terms of expression, opinion, and freedom of speech; and for the reader in terms of variety. so maybe not for a couple of posts... weeks maybe. but eventually, there will be change.

I want to say more, but im going to keep some info in the dark for now... a lot of ideas are still too rough and too much just in my head to explain. So there's my update. Thank you if you are still reading, and if not, im sorry about wasting your life. go get that 2 minutes back of your life.

There is an.... idea for today though.
First off, i would like to apologize for not writing for a while... trust me i have tried.. I have 6 blog posts still in"review" due to their sheer randomness and potential controversy... and they kind of suck. I might post them later, but tonight this is what I have come up with.
Second. I would like to claim that I am a selfless bastard. why? If your reading this, you probably know me. I sacrifice my own interests for the interests of others... I try my best to make others happy. but this is because I want to make others feel happy, to make myself feel happy... because I know it will. All the wrong reasons right... well that's me. I'm not a saint that's easy to tell, but guess what you're no angel either. we are all equal, everyone has their flaws. love, is growing to love these flaws and accept them. the best kind of love is the unconditional kind (fuck, that sounds like its from Anderson's religion class  or something...).
Third. I would like to state that I have the best friends...seriously. Me and my friends have stuck together for years now... some through all of elementary school as well. We all stuck by our values and interests, and were still standing tall, holding the line. Other friends, have drifted away started drinking and smoking and doing drugs...
Fourth.... which brings me to a very controversial point... that I don't think some people might want to read. but remember, this is a matter of my opinion being posted in writing. if you have a problem with what I am about to say, come take it up with me in person... I would be happy to oblige. Doing drugs is fucking. stupid. say what you want, but this is my opinion, and I have no lack of respect or loss of likeness in people who do drugs, because the majority are awesome people. But i just think its pointless. same with drinking excessively underage. don't get me wrong, a couple of beers doesn't do anything, and won't hurt anybody, but drinking to much (mostly speaking to underage) is also just pointless in my eyes, and like i said above i have no lack of respect or likeness in people who do this because again, majority of the people who do this are really awesome people... but if you need an external substance to have fun or relieve stress or whatever you might say its good for... go back to your childhood roots. remember back in the day when recess was the best part of the day? when in the summer time, even though there was only 15 minutes for one small recess, people would run out to the field with smiles that could crack open the gates of heaven themselves, and just have fun? Now obviously when you grow up interests change and things.... but you don't need something external to have fun. Me and my friends have the best times just hanging out at lunch at school, or on the weekend playing risk, or on Xbox playing a game. I don't know, just my opinion. The other side of the argument is probably much more valid, but this is my point of view.
Fifth. I swear that i was adopted or something... or that i was born in the wrong time period.... i just feel like i don't fit in with many societal norms. Person: "Hey Tony are you going to semi?" Me: "nah" Person: "Why not? its so much fun" me: "id rather just go for a run". Person: ".......... ok :s" (walks away because of socially awkward Tony)


ok... if you have made it this far, you can see that im writing these a little different... and they will continue to become stranger and stranger. but you know what? as stated in one of my previous posts.... fuck it. and im sorry for my language... im just thinking out loud (also stated in one of my previous posts)

Im still going to do a song of the day.... but here is what i am thinking. i might post recordings or videos of me playing the song instead of just putting up the song... or maybe do a video log at the end of each week or something... i have no clue. any ideas or feedback (good or bad feedback, i love it all) would be greatly appreciated.

But today's song of the day is by 30 Seconds to Mars. don't like them? I like them, so yea.... The song im going to share with all of you wonderful people who are reading this blog is... a couple of songs. its hard to get a hold of this bands sound sometimes. so im going to post a couple of songs that I listen to a lot... I hope you all like them:)

30 Seconds to Mars: "Anarchy in Tokyo" off their album B- Sides and Rarities

30 Seconds to Mars: "A Beautiful Lie" off their album A Beautiful Lie (HIGHLY RECOMMEND ENTIRE ALBUM :) )

30 Seconds to Mars: "Echelon" off their self- titled album 30 Seconds to Mars

Well... thats it. Thank you all... and remember.. compliments are pretty cool to give to people.
see you all next time... well maybe not everyone who reads this. but maybe there will be some people who read the next one, and maybe some people who have read the ones before this, maybe even the few people who initially read the experiments.

Anyways :)

Ciao