Home

I'm in Disney world at the moment, so the frequent posts I promised won't really start until I come back, which will be on the wednesday this week. So chill out, and relax :) I'm typing this from my iPod, late at night...very late so bear with me! I miss everyone back in Canada, and though not many people will miss me, I can say I'll miss them... Explanations why down below. Six feet under water.

Also on that note, with this new app I can blog on the go. I can blog at school, on the road, everything! Pretty cool. I'm making efforts to keep this blog frequent, because I have a lot to talk about.

I'm having a great time overall, the weather is amazing in florida this time of year. I love disney world, embracing that inner child-hood locked up inside me... Its hard sometimes, Especially when Sickness kicks in... But there are moments where i feel like a kid again. I cant think of a Better feeling right now... Except To be Home. Let's hope I come back to Canada with some tan eh?

Let's get serious.

It's incredible... Isn't it. I guess it's true, you don't really know what you got until its gone. Combining this trip with the Washington trip I did right before this one, I haven't had a nice home-cooked meal in over 2 weeks. I have eaten out every night, and don't get me wrong the food is great... But I miss the simplicity, the comfort of a nice, warm, home cooked meal; a meal that was cooked by yourself or by your parents. Nothing too fancy, but it's just right. In the goldi-lox zone just like planet earth, the perfect distance from the sun, not too far, not too close, in the zone where life can flourish; just like a home-cooked meal. Nothing too fancy, nothing too simple. Just right; and you don't really know what you are missing until you haven't had it for weeks. Hard to describe, but you know exactly what it is.
Not only food, but the familiar faces you see practically every day, the familiar setting and scenery that is bland most of the time, but when you have been away for so long it becomes something rather... Unique. Simple, yet gorgeous. Resplendent beauty. Your friends you haven't had contact for in a while, even the people in the hallways at school, passing that same person after class every day; that simple hello you acknowledge each other with every day, that security that binds us all together. That special someone you "like" and every time you see them you get butterflies in your stomach... Those ominous butterflies that you feel every day, that feeling that let's you know you're alive; the feeling is so suppressed until you can't feel it anymore, then it's just a nightmare. Even just the hallways I walk every day at school, those familiar walls that I always am confined by. It's somewhat bitter-sweet. I can't stand it when I'm there, but when I'm gone I miss it. A black and white print of a face,I'll never see again. Even though you may barely know me, its that comfort of seeing everyone almost every day... It keeps me alive. All I want, is to be home.

What is home to us? What does home mean? Is it where you sleep? Or is it where you live.

Maybe... Just maybe... Life is just a journey in which we are all just searching for a place, that we can call home. Whatever home may mean to you; home is the drive that keeps us all going, the rock upon which we all try to stand upon... Finding the right rock for us. That rock that, no matter how unique, no matter how bumpy, rocky, slanted, sharp... provides stability and balance for us. Warmth, no matter the weather.

Searching for a place, that we can call home...

Maybe, just maybe.

This is it

Welcome one and all for the last time

This is it, the moment I have been trying to create for weeks now. This blog is changing. The next time you will read this blog, it will be different. The name I am hiding for now, but you will see. I will change the URL with the blog, so for those who do not access this blog through me posting it on facebook and have it bookmarked... I will post one last post after this one just saying the URL, making sure everyone who wants to stay in the loop, can.

Don't fret. All of the older posts will still be there for you to look at :)

This post won't just be this status update however, it will be a full one. So lets get underway!

So I wanted to talk a bit about the blog's evolution as a whole. Remember my first post? Those faithful readers who have been there with me since day 1? So much has changed since then. First off, if you look at it, its short xD . Many of my posts have been 1700 words +, that one was like 950 or so... I was so nervous back then to post everything that was on my mind... look at me now :P Though back in October when I started I had many more posts-per-month than I do now.... so looking back at that who would like to see shorter posts but a more frequently updated blog? Leave me some input to ponder upon... :)

Now lets skip ahead in time a little, when I posted my highest-read blog post ever. Sick-Dating. Why were people so intrigued to spend their valuable time reading this? It baffles me to this day. That was the first post that I just said "fuck it, im saying what I want today and I don't care what other people will think". I just... talked. Straight from the heart. And every post after that followed through with that example. The couple before it were... experiments... a prologue if you will. Now we are here... the end of the cold day in the sun for Tony.

Speaking of experiments... those few who actually cared enough to go through the archives and stay updated with the blog without me posting the post on social media, finding it without me putting it in front of them, found what was a lengthy experiment. A series of poetry created by yours truly... meant to decipher these emotions chained inside me... and embrace love. As the poems went from sad-depressing-suicidal-narcissistic to deeply in love- overcome with emotion and simply love itself, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that there were people out there who actually cared for once, that actually listened, and didn't just hear me. And even though in the end the desired results of this experiment did not happen at all... I achieved another result... unexpected and welcome.

Then we moved on to the post-experiment era, where my posts revealed what I felt about myself personally, that I am stitched in my own skin, and if I try to break out I will just bleed and feel more pain. That I miss the old days with friends, staying up all night talking about everything and anything, just having a great time... bonding.... playing halo at 4 am :P It is a feeling like no other, let me tell you. Anyways, I also talked about what was happening in the world, such as my view on the whole KONY 2012 situation... by the way people that thing is in 2 days. Anyone still doing that? I doubt it, it really died down. If they were smart they would have done this a week before the event, back when it was still in everyone's mind and important to everyone.
I talked about music and poetry and how I feel about it... I really have covered a lot throughout this blogs life-span so far. What was your favourite moments, favourite articles, favourite poems, favourite things I said? Let me know :)

Lets also talk about the music I have posted... every post. The music I have posted has almost defined my life during that time. When you look back at depressing times... the songs are either really uplifting or really depressing. When you look at happy times the songs are usually really mellow and calm and collecting. When you look at mellow times, the songs were a bit more dramatic on both sides of the spectrum. I'm looking back at each post as I am writing this actually... looking through each one... its really inspiring for me to see how much I have changed and at the same time how similar I have been for years now.

And how about me asking others to compliment... did anyone actually take on that task and do it? I did, every day even if it was something stupid. It happened, and that's something I can say for sure. Let me know if you complimented someone as well!

And here we are... the end of the ride. The end... the beginning of the end. The end of the beginning is more like it :) This post marks a new kind of blog, a new kind of Tony pouring his heart and soul into these posts that are meaningless to most.. but somehow it keeps me coming back for more. That's something I can't explain, and something I need to discover. In spirit of trying to discover, I will keep writing, I must keep writing. My heart must still beat, I beat it for you.

 Hold on, It's not where it goes, It's where it can lead you to...

Hold on, It's not where it goes, It's where it can lead you to...

Hold on, It's not where it goes, It's where it can lead you to...

Ciao

Shout

These are the things I can do without.

1. Drama
Suck it up. Things have a way of working themselves out 99% of the time. Like it or not, shit happens; deal with it and move on with your life so more shit can happen...possibly in your favor.

2. Political Activists... Facebook style
Ok, I understand that you have an opinion and would like to express it on facebook for your friends to read and interpret... but it is no ones judgement to say if you are right or wrong, or if you are dumb or smart.. or whatever they might be claiming. Everyone has different opinions, and everyone's opinion must be respected. Also, love how everyone becomes politicians and activists on facebook when really they probably wouldn't have found out if it wasn't for social media in the first place. They are also probably posting that status about said issue (a la KONY) because everyone else is doing it. It is an endless chain. In reality, I know a couple of people on facebook who actually are interested and ACTIVE in real life with these issues, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. Others... they are just along for the ride. Im not saying to stop posting things or to stop caring... but don't claim you are all high and mighty when in reality you are on the bandwagon with everyone else. Leave these things to the people who actually give 2 fucks.

3. Social media in general
It takes over peoples lives. Start a relationship? Oh no, I need to let everyone on my friend list know about it! Something happen in your life? Actually, more accurately something did not happen? Time to let everyone know on social media. There is nothing wrong with letting people know what is happening in your life... actually kind of the point of Facebook in the first place..but status updates like "FUCK MY LIFE" (something along those lines, you know what I mean) or (_______ is such a __________ I can't believe she/he ____________ ). Cool story bro, guess what... It doesn't involve me, or 95% of your friends list. Kind of annoying. Also, for most people the first thing that they do is go on facebook or twitter... instead of just living their lives (cant find the right words to explain what I mean... maybe you kind of know what I mean?). I'm a big hypocrite when it comes to these things... because I used to do this a lot. Not anymore though, I realized my doings. Anyways... here's what I'm trying to say in a nutshell
- Takes over peoples lives
- Pointless status updates
- Attention Seekers
- Nay Sayers
- Did I mention it takes over peoples lives?
- Addicting, because it takes over peoples lives
You get the point.

4. People who do not go outside when it is absolutely gorgeous outside
I don't know about your friends... but some of mine are like this. They would rather stay inside and play video games than go outside and play some road hockey, or go biking, or go for a run, or a leisurely stroll, or frolicking in the fields... maybe not so much the last one, but you get it. I like being outside, especially when the weather is very welcoming like it has been all week so far. I even like the rain, its refreshing. To me, being outside will always be better than staying inside when the weather is nice... I hope more people come to appreciate the weather. Be active while you still can... because when your 86 years old you won't be going for bike rides every day... unless your a hero like that. That would be sick actually... new life goal!


5. Self- Centered People
K. Look. If all you are going to do is talk about yourself, why am I listening? It should be 50/50 about yourself and about them... if anything. A conversation should always be random... you know? Well some of them... but for the most part, if you keep talking about yourself or keep changing the subject back to yourself, people might get annoyed. People who do things just for self-benefit instead of trying to help someone, I'm looking at you here too. Help others, they might help you. Done.


6. Make-up
I definitely talked about this before, but to me it's demeaning to women. Guys don't need make-up but girls do? No, if anything the other way around. My nose has a bump in the middle of it and is curved all weird (seriously..take a look at it lol), I have some pimples all up in my face, I have enormous bags under my eyes 75% of the time... I could go on. It's hilarious though, I don't do a fucking thing about it... and I'm ok with that. I accept who I am, what I look like, and move on with my life. Girls.... for the most part... wear makeup to cover some minor blemishes.... you know what... if I keep talking about this the post won't stop. So I will save this for another post.


7. Flip-Flops
Never liked them, they are uncomfortable and they always fall off my feet. I can never find them, and when I do its always only one, the other one I probably left a the beach... Sandals are better, but I never liked those either. Running shoes are the way to go.

That's all she wrote. The list could go on, but there's a couple of things I could do without.

Song of the day is by The Smashing Pumpkins. Enjoy :)

Hope everyone is having a great march break!
Ciao

Was it a dream?

Hey
hows it going? good i hope, if not, hopefully this blog can cheer you up.

So there's a couple of things I want to talk about today.

First off, I'm going to address people who post things on Facebook and twitter like "i hope i don't wake up tomorrow" and "i hate my life" and "Ive had enough kill me"... look I understand that you might have a lot of problems in your life and that's understandable why you might think like this. But the way I look at it, is life doesn't love anyone.. it doesn't favor anyone.. its not going to give you special treatment. sometimes it cripples people. Life is Never going to love you, so you have to love life. i hope that makes sense to people, because I can't see a better way of looking at life. it is stagnant, neutral, its what is letting us breath every day and live our lives... OUR LIVES, not Life's Lives! life can't dictate who you are.why is a rich man who has seemingly everything, unhappy. and why a poor man can be satisfied with the simplest of things, or why a kid might have the best time ever just playing ball with his dad... something seemingly insignificant brought to LIFE BY US. we dictate how our lives turn out, not life. I understand that disease and extreme poverty or bullying can really get in the way, but you have to appreciate everything you can in life. I understand disease, i have friends and family who have disease.. the kind that kills.. yet they just keep on going, happy to still exist, savoring every day, just trying to smile and help others smile. is there a better purpose in life than to make people happy and to just laugh? this is a sensitive topic, i know. but when it comes down to it, appreciate what you have... and appreciate everyone around you. I used to do this kind of thing a lot... a lot... i was looking for attention, for someone to care. by doing that, i was making people do the opposite. Don't expect everything to fall neatly in place right in front of you ripe for the picking, because it rarely will. like a girl? ask her out. Want to play better in a sport? train, practice. want to do good in school? do homework and study. want sympathy and help for your problems... that would really help you... find friends that truly care about your well being over theirs.  I would like to remind everyone that, since this is a sensitive topic, that this is all of my opinion, and is not necessarily right... probably not right at all. this is how i look at it, and I've had success. so i hope you can too. and remember, easier said than done... everything is.

I think about this as well, that really helps me. Life, Dreams, Death. This sequence is not always linear. tell me if you want me to further elaborate in the next post, because i have a lot to say on this. i just don't want this post being too long... probably going to happen anyways.


 And this brings me to my second point... after an epic discussion with a friend last night... the kind we used to do all the time back in grade school and early high school... god i miss those days. anyways, after talking for a while... i figured something out that i think really applies. Your friends, are your personality. your friends shape who you are, and you shape your friends. you are your friends, and your friends are you. well if they are true friends who actually care about your well being then they are.... like it goes without saying that I would die for my friends. this is how my friend group is anyways, and i think that this concept of your friends are your personality.. really makes sense. maybe it applies to you and your friends? that would be pretty cool. I don't know if i can really say anything else about this... its hard for me to translate my thoughts into writing... but i hope this makes sense to people.

that's today's post. its much shorter than the last... and i hope you liked it. if you didn't then im sorry and ill try better next time. these posts i make are off of ideas in my head.. some will always be better than others.

 The song of the day is by Coldplay... yes i also like Coldplay. sorry if you don't but i think their music is brilliant and soothing. the song is called Clocks off their album A Rush of Blood to the Head. I hope you enjoy it as much as i do :)

Coldplay: "Clocks" off their album "A Rush of Blood to the Head"

that's it. today s post. thank you for reading. thank you for looking at it, then stop reading half way or even a quarter through. thanks for even acknowledging this blogs existence. thank you all.
compliments help people who are having a bad day, so remember to say them every now and then. you never know how far some simple words might go.
until next time :)
Ciao