Today's post...death...among other things. Depressing? I prefer to remain optimistic about death. Here is what I think about it.
Before I say what I think about it... what do you think about it? When you die, what happens? Do you live in a spiritual realm (heaven, hell, Wisconsin, whatever you want to call it), are you reincarnated into another animal, a tree, another human with its memory wiped with no prior knowledge from the previous life? Maybe we all just rot in the ground... in a state of literal no feeling.
No feeling.. humans are always feeling. If you are wearing clothes, the contact that the clothes are making with your skin providing a feeling, its just that we are so used to it that we feel it, but mostly in our sub-conscience... imagine no feeling at all. Thinking is a feeling... what would that be like? It's hard to imagine...
What about being reincarnated into whatever form... human or non-human. Is that really possible? Is science getting in the way of this.. we can't completely rule it out. We don't know what energy exactly is... what if human's are just energy? Remember energy cannot be created nor destroyed only transferred into different forms. If that holds true, and if humans are just a big lump of energy (I know that we require energy, so why would we be energy... just go with it :P) then when we die our energy would not be lost, only transferred into a different form. I'm just rambling, thinking out loud... but that's what this blog is about.
When I think about death... I personally think about me having been reincarnated from something or someone and that I cannot recall or identify what that was. Now I know what you're thinking, Tony you're a moron, a nincompoop... but this is what I think. If you have been a constant reader of this blog, you know that from the post named "stitched in this skin" that I feel like I have been trapped in this body, or that I don't belong, that I don't fit. My body doesn't fit the sub conscience Tony that is inside me...I can't help wondering about the possibility of me being someone else in the past. That's just me personally.
So I can't really feel bad about death in the end, not even really scared... only limited. Our time is so short, and there is so much unknown in death. To me, its like the first breathe you take and the clock just starts ticking.
Ok, lets get out of that. Might be depressing for some, so lets talk about something a little bit lighter eh?
So for those who know about this... Washington is 3 weeks away tomorrow! Going to be such a sick trip with my buds, its going to be hilarious. Anyone else who is reading this and going, you know what I mean... I know people will probably like the New York trip more... But I always wanted to go to Washington... such an interesting city.
Also, I'm going to Disney World in Florida like 2 days after I come back from Washington! I'm truly blessed this year... and even with the heartbreaks, the letdowns, the leafs and jets not making the playoffs... I think this will help me take my mind off things.. something I clearly need. My mind is a hurricane 90% of the time... the last 10% im sleeping.
Who wants to go to Alaska? Always been my dream.
I want to skydive as well. In fact, that's how I want to go out if you know what I mean... dying. I want to have my life end on my own terms... It's a long story, if you want to know more, ask me!
Now... the biggest issue with me recently has been my timing. You don't even know, it has been so bad as of late. I go on Facebook, see someone on chat, literally click on their name and they go offline.... that has happened every single day this week and most of last week. Just ridiculous. Not just Facebook chat either. In real life too, this has happened. See someone down the hallway, want to talk to them, as I stand up, haven't even taken a step, they stand up and walk away. Many other examples, but I won't bore you. Maybe I already have though.
Another thing... I saw this on the news. Apparently the world is running out of helium. Very important to many things on earth, including us. But we are running out... why? Balloons is a big reason, not even joking. Weird. So stop making helium balloons and just use air and hang them from the ceiling... basically the same thing.
And last thing I will talk about because I know this one is random as hell... Prom. Yup, Prom. It's coming up fast. Very fast. Lo and behold, a decision needs to be made. Am I going to go? If I go, will I have a date. If I go, will I even try to dance? That would be a disaster lol, oh well. You have to make fun of yourself to have fun with others. That's what I find, you need to learn to laugh at yourself. I make a fool out of myself constantly with my friends, and I have a good time.
Last thing I swear... Poetry.
Recently I have been hit with what some call writers block. Me, I call this an evolution. I have been trying to write poetry and I have had some success in creating some that I am satisfied with... Not going to lie I end up tearing up 9/10 of my poems because even if others might think its good, im not satisfied with them. It doesn't represent Tony, who I am, what I stand for, what I love. I have been stuck for weeks on end now, nothing I have been writing has been making any progress at all... so here I was... trying to write poetry right... and then I realized... that I was trying to write poetry... you know what I'm saying? Then I just started writing... not even really thinking... just going with what was on my mind, what theme was portrayed in my thoughts, or even the song that I was listening to. And though the results have been not as great as I thought they would be... I can honestly say that I am satisfied with most of them, regardless of how they turn out. A lot of these ideas don't make sense until I stop trying to make sense of it and just let it sink it, then it hits me. Will I start posting more poetry on this blog? Will the experiment be continued? Well... as of right now I have no intention of doing that, I'm just sharing these with friends and people I can trust... not that I can't trust you if I know you and you are reading this... but its the internet... anyone could read it. The ones I posted before I just posted and experimented and I saw what happened. Now its different though... I guess in the future Ill come to a decision. For now, it's not a pressing matter.
That's it for today... sorry for the randomness :P
Song of the day is by Linkin Park, off their album Minutes to Midnight. Did you hear that their new single is coming out on the 16th? I'm freaking pumped, new album this summer WOOO! Anyways, here is In Between by Linkin Park
Compliments, remember em.
Ciao
Wisconsin a fate worse than death a place worse than hell
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