Its like lego, remember when you were a kid? (mostly guys) You would spend all day creating this awesome lego creation... then you just break it back down. Then you do it all again.
Albert Einstein once said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity.
So, where does this all play in?
Lets start on a purely emotional scale.
You start relationships, to break relationships. You start them, looking for the right person, and if they are not, you break them. Its that heat of the moment, just like lego. You build it all up, you enjoy it while it lasts, and then when you are bored with it you just smash it and start building something else up. Life is like lego then, isn't it.
We... savor this hell... one could say we enjoy the destruction of one and the building of another. Going back to the previous post... we need to go through hell... Its in our nature. We need to experience that down, in order to experience that up. That depression for that happiness. That hate for that love.
It's a cycle. It repeats. It always will. Building something up, breaking it back down, building it up again, breaking it back down again. What inspired me to write this post is Linkin Park's new single "Burn it Down" off their upcoming album "Living Things". It has almost a devilish rhythm to it... it's completely serene in itself but the song itself screams destruction.
So... by Einsteins method... since we repeat this cycle over and over again and expect something to be different, are we insane? Insane by nature, perhaps. We all do crazy things for other people... that gives us no benefit... and might not even benefit the other. It just "benefits" in general.
So maybe, we all need a little help. We all need to identify our own personal cycles and break them. Break it back down, and hope to God that when we build it back up things will be different.
A lonely life Where no one understands you But don't give up Because the music do
Lyrics from my favourite KORN song, Twisted Transistor (link below).
How true this rings... music connects with us (well, most of us) in a way that I certainly can't understand. Music, more specifically each album, is like a book. From the start of the album, the very first track, we are transported into a world that is completely different from our own; a world so different, so obscure sometimes, yet we still can relate. Music speaks to us on a level that really can't be defined. These artists that will likely never meet us, or if they do, will not become a regular close friend, become our best friends. All of a sudden, that band knows how we feel. That song translates those feelings that we cannot describe... words that could never be deciphered can be translated into a musical form where a sequence of words, rhymes and sounds perfectly define how you feel... or at least contrast how you feel to cheer you up... to give you a different perspective on life.
For example, listening to the Linkin Park album Meteora, you are taken into a world that is ruled by those 6 individuals... Phoenix makes the bass boom, Mr. Han spins the turntables rigorously, Brad attacks the guitar, shaking the very foundation of the song, Rob's drums provide a steady beat, background noise essential to this world, and lastly the contrast of Chester singing aggressive, meaningful lyrics and Mike providing background and history to the song, adds another dimension to the song. Starting at the opening track "Forward," you hear the steady smash of a hammer and stone... getting faster and faster until the frame of the atmosphere of the song smashes like a pane of glass... and instantly you are taken into "Don't Stay," a song about individuality... something that would define the band's future tracks, marching to the beat of their own drum. I just described the basis and the beginning of the album... the album as a whole is like a story. In the lyrics, in the notes and rhythms, in the way each instrument and voice is used to add to each song. This story draws me in every. single. time.
Stepping back.
This is what I get out of it. It doesn't matter what "story" you are engaged in, whether it would be music or book, it's just the engagement of being involved, being taken into a world that isn't your own, being pulled out of your hell, and into their hell. "This band/song/album/book really understands me, it helped me get through tough times" is something I hear on a regular basis. And that's true. Music and books will do that, because they bring you out your world and into a different one.
Speaking from personal experience, this is how it works for me. There is a band for each stage of my life; there is a band that defines my life. The band that has stuck with me, that I have listened to nearly every single day since grade 4, is Linkin Park. They have helped me get through every rough patch of my life starting from grade 4. They have brought me into their world, and taken me out of mine each and every time I needed that to happen. I think everyone has a band/group/artist/writer like that, whether it would be J.K Rowling's Harry Potter or whatever. That one defining experience that brings you back every time, that you can rely on to help you through whatever... they bring you out of your reality and into theirs.
After that one defining experience, there are smaller experiences that bring you through rough patches alongside the single defining one. For example, through grade 7, me and my friends went through a punk-rock phase where we become Billy Talent and Anti-flag fanatics. We knew every song, and to tell you the truth I still know every song, and that punk-rock alongside Linkin Park helped me get through that grade... with all of its disappointments and regrets.
Then came along grade 8.
With grade 8, I had a lot of shit going on. A lot of it I couldn't explain to other people... I was also in a huge Paintball craze back in grade 8. During that craze, I listened to Bullet for my Valentine and, as always, Linkin Park. Now every time I think about paintball, talk about it, whenever it comes up, I think about Bullet for my Valentine. They are my paintball band.
This happened for every stage, ill spare you the details.
Bands such as KORN, 3 Doors Down, Killswitch Engage, Avenged Sevenfold, Metallica, Rise Against, 30 Seconds to Mars, Atreyu, Fort Minor, Coldplay, System of a Down, Slipknot, Scars on Broadway, Breaking Benjamin, Foo Fighters, Disturbed, Guns and Roses, Pearl Jam, and Shinedown all told their stories in my life, all brought me into their personal hell to take me out of mine.
The interesting thing is, it didn't exactly matter what the music was about, I just had to like it. I could be sad, and a sad song on an album would come on (Easier to Run) and it would somehow cheer me up. Or I could be happy, and an upbeat song would come on and my mood would change. Or vise-versa. As long as it caught my attention, and I liked what I was hearing, it worked. Bringing me into a world that wasn't mine brought a certain peace of mind.
I know it's hell... because writing music is hell. When I write poetry or songs (yes, I write songs too... secretive Tony is secretive) I need to dig down... deep inside. I need to find those emotions that get me going... whether its anger, longing for belonging, whatever it may be, I need to dig down so deep into those emotions and feelings locked up inside that it brings me into those feelings. It brings me into hell.
I believe that sometimes, we need to go through hell.
So... the point of this post...
Maybe... being taken away from what we have and brought into something else that we don't have, brings peace. Being taken into a hell that isn't ours, takes us out of our own hell even if its just for a little bit. And that's enough. A method to the madness, a break from the fire; into someone else's.
Failure might just be necessary. Without it, we couldn't be disappointed, and maybe because of that we couldn't feel achievement, couldn't feel real happiness.
Into each life, some rain must fall. Maybe the rain is more of a downpour in your case. Maybe it's been raining for months on end. It's just the rainy season. Your season might be longer than others, maybe shorter. I guess it depends on your situation. Maybe we are just trying to protect ourselves for the rain, putting on a jacket and using an umbrella, to protect us from this failure, this depression, this rain, when really we should embrace this feeling, to understand this failure to learn from it, to be truly happy later in life. A little rain never hurt anyone, it just gets you soaked. If you never get soaked,you can never dry. If you never live, you can never die.
I'm in Disney world at the moment, so the frequent posts I promised won't really start until I come back, which will be on the wednesday this week. So chill out, and relax :) I'm typing this from my iPod, late at night...very late so bear with me! I miss everyone back in Canada, and though not many people will miss me, I can say I'll miss them... Explanations why down below. Six feet under water.
Also on that note, with this new app I can blog on the go. I can blog at school, on the road, everything! Pretty cool. I'm making efforts to keep this blog frequent, because I have a lot to talk about.
I'm having a great time overall, the weather is amazing in florida this time of year. I love disney world, embracing that inner child-hood locked up inside me... Its hard sometimes, Especially when Sickness kicks in... But there are moments where i feel like a kid again. I cant think of a Better feeling right now... Except To be Home. Let's hope I come back to Canada with some tan eh?
Let's get serious.
It's incredible... Isn't it. I guess it's true, you don't really know what you got until its gone. Combining this trip with the Washington trip I did right before this one, I haven't had a nice home-cooked meal in over 2 weeks. I have eaten out every night, and don't get me wrong the food is great... But I miss the simplicity, the comfort of a nice, warm, home cooked meal; a meal that was cooked by yourself or by your parents. Nothing too fancy, but it's just right. In the goldi-lox zone just like planet earth, the perfect distance from the sun, not too far, not too close, in the zone where life can flourish; just like a home-cooked meal. Nothing too fancy, nothing too simple. Just right; and you don't really know what you are missing until you haven't had it for weeks. Hard to describe, but you know exactly what it is.
Not only food, but the familiar faces you see practically every day, the familiar setting and scenery that is bland most of the time, but when you have been away for so long it becomes something rather... Unique. Simple, yet gorgeous. Resplendent beauty. Your friends you haven't had contact for in a while, even the people in the hallways at school, passing that same person after class every day; that simple hello you acknowledge each other with every day, that security that binds us all together. That special someone you "like" and every time you see them you get butterflies in your stomach... Those ominous butterflies that you feel every day, that feeling that let's you know you're alive; the feeling is so suppressed until you can't feel it anymore, then it's just a nightmare. Even just the hallways I walk every day at school, those familiar walls that I always am confined by. It's somewhat bitter-sweet. I can't stand it when I'm there, but when I'm gone I miss it. A black and white print of a face,I'll never see again. Even though you may barely know me, its that comfort of seeing everyone almost every day... It keeps me alive. All I want, is to be home.
What is home to us? What does home mean? Is it where you sleep? Or is it where you live.
Maybe... Just maybe... Life is just a journey in which we are all just searching for a place, that we can call home. Whatever home may mean to you; home is the drive that keeps us all going, the rock upon which we all try to stand upon... Finding the right rock for us. That rock that, no matter how unique, no matter how bumpy, rocky, slanted, sharp... provides stability and balance for us. Warmth, no matter the weather.
