The last song

Welcome one and all to the show

today... well tonight...well this morning, its all about 2012... how dumb is this... "The planets will all align causing cataclysmic events to occur". why? because they are aligning.. so what does that mean? not much, at all. its happened before, and we are still here. then there's the movie 2012 which i find quite funny because of the way they envision it... fireballs the size of buildings raining down from the sky... earthquakes that literally separate entire continents within seconds, tidal waves that completely engulf countries... bad acting...ZING. im sorry but for this to happen, im sure its going to take more than the planets aligning, because when it happened before, that did not happen. at all. when they think the last one happened, it was around the time of the ice age, but heres the catch, it happened after the ice age started. so it did not cause it. it was just mother nature doing her thing, because change is necessary, and an analogy for this is, sometimes when your reorganizing your room or anything else, you need to destroy it and make it really unorganized, so it can be reorganized. just like when mother nature needs to re organize the balance of everything, it does its thing and change is brought upon us. and the Mayan theory about how their calendar ends... their calendar has ended many times, it means that their new calendar would just start. everyone is entitled to their opinion and i respect that, but to me, this whole end of the world nonsense is not happening. riots will happen oh im sure of that, but not the end. to me, the end is either going to be the sun exploding in like a couple of billion years, us killing each other and taking the planet with us, or, if we do venture outside of our solar system and find another somewhere else in our galaxy, the collision of our galaxy and the Andromeda galaxy which will occur in a couple of billion of years, will most likely rip everything we know out of existence.. you see the Andromeda galaxy is much much MUCH bigger than ours... and its on a collision course with our galaxy. we have seen pictures of galaxy's that have merged through telescopes.. either Hubble or Spitzer, and it completely changes the structure of it.. spirals become ringed... ringed become spirals... its all crazy. and basically, Andromeda is going to eat us for dinner. in fact, current pictures of Andromeda show a very small galaxy near its proximity before ours... like VERY small, and its being sucked into Andromeda's core, what we think is a super-massive black hole (multiple black holes making one giant one) and basically, a mirror image of what is our eventual fate. of course, this is all in i believe 4.6 billion or 5 billion or something years.. so nothing to worry about, who knows if we will even last that long as a race.

Astronomy is my secret obsession... im completely awe-inspired by space and everything it holds... always keeps me interested, always more to learn, more to see, its simply brilliant. but yea, back to my main point, 2012 seems ridiculous to me, and i guess time will tell to see if the world ends... my money is on it not happening.


So thats it for tonight anyways, tomorrow im probably going to do one last post before the new year, around 7 ish maybe... after im off work and before i go to my friends house.

The song of today is What a Shame by Shinedown, off their album The Sound of Madness. great song, really brings out the hate in todays society... what a shame.

Shinedown: "What a Shame" off their album The Sound of Madness

Remember to compliment someone sometime every day, it helps bring out the best in everyone, in you and in them, help people be the best they can be... help them build their esteem, remember esteem starts low and needs to be built, people need help sometimes laying down the bricks.

Salutations and see you all soon. Hidden treasures, experiments gone wrong

Dagger

lately i have been thinking too much... more than i normally do... this is what i essentially come up with, this thing, this.... fucking feeling i cannot get across, that i cant reach, that i cant understand... sitting just out of the reach, beckoning me, alluring oh it is... but i must keep trying, this experiment will have results... but i guess we all thought that, one way or another

Dagger

Push the dagger Deeper deeper

Down into my spine

Paralyzing words and pictures

Recklessly tear my mind

Push the dagger Deeper deeper

Through my very feet

Each step becomes more painful painful

Watch my shadow meet my body

Oh the unforgiving concrete

Push the dagger Deeper deeper

Through this pain I feed

The never-ending thought of you

Kills me, please don’t worry

Push the dagger Deeper deeper

Until I bleed no more

Pull the dagger out, forgive me forget me

I’m not who you are searching for

Lady, so Divine

Lady, so Divine

I wish you were next to me
in this rain soaked night
holding hands, scheming of things pretty
oh how I wish I could be right

You won’t reach for me will you?
I mean nothing to you
I can see it in your eyes
please don’t say the last goodbye

Chilling rain, fills the ocean of despair
thundering grey clouds lurk above
yet you leave me at the roadside
hang me out to dry

Alas, I always come back for you
your intoxicating smile
the apple of your eye
the rotten core inside mine

I don’t deserve to have you
I can’t chase the dark without you
you take the breathe right out of me
how pathetic is this quest I ensue

I can’t go on
I can’t pretend everything is fine
when i just want to be with you
lady, so divine

i couldn't sleep... i decided to write this to help clear up my thoughts. another "thing" for this experiment of mine... the goal, it may be unobtainable. but I need to keep on trying, for her, for me, for us. she is love.

Logistic of Love

Another "thing" for the experiment. Im still not sure about this, considering its right from the heart... its hard to let others view it, but i must keep trying in order to get results, to find an answer to my question. Here it is, observe

Logistic of Love

*She loves me not, I know this not sure.

The absurd grasp of my mind, thinking about her

Remembering every reaction, message, thing she said

Why can’t I get this girl, out of my head?

Her smile, intoxicating

Her voice, irresistible

Every moment I spend, my mind makes amends

Ti Amo, the world is long gone

As the world revolves, my mind stops

It reveals that inner peace is unobtainable,

Until I can see her, my heart is in disarray

Questionably, when I see her I feel the pain of it ending

Every day, has not begun until I see her, talk to her

See her smile, feel myself smile, sealed up tight.

Upon a Dream, she appears within the abyss.

Whatever happened to logic, as it slowly falls apart

Different, yes, but all is unique. there are many, many more. they will be revealed as the sand falls slowly through my fingers.

Step by Step, Piece by Piece

Welcome one and all to the show

hope everyone is having a good Christmas and stuff

so today, im going to talk about, well, a lot actually. the title says it all, is nothing sacred? what raised this question in me was at work when i was on break and me and another staff member were talking. she was all pissed off because her boyfriend did something that wasn't even too bad, and she said she was going to dump him, then started laughing and she was all happy about dumping him... meanwhile in my head im thinking... is nothing sacred anymore? is her relationship so shallow that she can laugh about breaking up? To me, I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone unless i know it might be something special, something that i can look back on fondly, not spitefully. relationships are more than what lies on the surface... its about a deep connection between two people that cannot be replicated. in my mind, i believe that every relationship is unique in its own way, but that doesn't mean that you can just pass it off as something disposable. relationships, like the stars in the sky(to me), have sentimental value. there is supposed to be something more than whats on the surface, something between the lines, something that no one can describe. another example, some girls asked one of my co workers out at work while on the job, and he wasn't even trying to flirt at all he was just doing his job and being nice (kudos to him lol). while we were laughing about it, i had a thought, is nothing sacred? are those girls really that shallow that they will ask a guy out that they literally just met and talked to for less than a minute? that is just.... words can't describe what im thinking... its a mix between frustrated (about the youth of today) and disappointment (about them sinking so low). take the time to get to know the person before you take the next step... its like skipping a step when assembling something.. its not going to turn out right. you need to assemble a relationship, step by step, piece by piece, its just really frustrating to think that people would skip steps like this.

also, i was buying something at a store the other day and i just saw a massive amount of plastic being unnecessarily used in simply putting my product in the bag. first off, there was a plastic case holding the disc. then, there was plastic wrapped around the plastic. then, there was a plastic bag that held the item. then, the bag ripped so he double bagged it. i was thinking, is nothing sacred? that was such a waste of material and... just the amount of waste that is created just making that and using it and disposing it.. do we even realize how much these little things are impacting the environment? we can't even recycle most of these materials, it just ends up in landfills. at some point, i think someone just needs to walk up to corporate America and just say, guys your screwing the pooch on this one, in the sense that in them making money, they are destroying the planet, and eventually there will be no more planet to live on to have that money. its a cycle that can ONLY end bad.

Ok, so that's all for today, i have a lot on my mind, and i need time to untangle these massive amounts of cords in my mind. piece by piece, step by step, i will. and then and only then will i be done with this blog. when that time comes, i will let you know. but for now, i hope you enjoy the read.

The song of today is "Generator" by the Foo Fighters off their album "There is Nothing Left to Lose." i love the lyrics in this song, especially the chorus with the motor heart... its genius. so, enjoy and here it is.

Foo Fighters: "Generator" off their album "There is Nothing Left to Lose"

Also, fun fact, the Foo Fighters concert in New Zealand created tremors equal to those created by volcanic activity... Fucking Rock and Roll right there :)

Remember, give someone a compliment.. its always nice to receive some gratification for something right :)

Hidden Treasures

Ciao

When the air that we breathe becomes air that we choke

Welcome one and all

my mind is a tangled mess right now, so bear with me if im jumping from topic to topic or whatever.

so im going to start off by saying something that I realized last night at work. Self Esteem starts off low, and it is raised by earning it. incredible, after all of these years of me thinking what is wrong with me, why am i like this, i finally realize that, the reason i don't feel good about myself is because i haven't done much to make myself feel good. those moments of confidence and me feeling good about myself, was like caffeine, it wore off. and I know why now, it wasn't something I could truly feel good about for a long period of time. scored the winning goal in soccer? who cares. when I helped an injured player to the bench, that matters. studying hard for a test and getting a good grade? awesome, but its only one test. how about the other 7 tests for that one class? to feel good, you really need to accomplish something sentimental, something with more value than what it portrays. something that will last, and will take much more to break down than a simple accomplishment. just something to think about... at least now i know the problem; the solution comes next, whenever that may be.

Here's a problem, why do schools always cram in so much work during the last couple weeks of school? can't teachers better plan this out? I mean, my biology teacher, he planned it out in such a way that our last test until exams are on the last week, but thats it. no more than that, this last test is all we need to worry about until exams. that is smart. what isn't smart is having a test and a project due in the same week, especially since, there are plenty of weeks where nothing is even due. so heres my proposal, teachers must submit a plan and follow it to the best of their abilities, a schedule if you will, that will make it easier on the students, because almost everyone i know has like 4 summatives in this last week, which is just dumb. or atleast, give students a schedule for when everything in the semester is due, so we can better plan this out. we are left scrambling, and our work will most likely be impacted.

I dont even know how im going to keep my marks at 80s. especially English, its ridiculous. so much work, like we have an in class essay next week on Hamlet, and we won't have any idea what we are writing on until monday, then we write on tuesday, and shes keeping out work on monday so we can't work on it monday night(even though im working, so it wouldn't make much of a difference). to me, shes hanging us out to dry. what if the topics she gives us, are my weakest ones? what if i can't find textual evidence fast enough? i dont know, if she gave us a little bit more to work with beforehand, it would have been much easier. And then things get scary, even if i do keep up my marks... what the hell is University going to be like? im kind of pulling out my hair just thinking about that. oh well, the best thing to do is to just focus on what is directly in front of you, and don't think about the future until everything is out of the way... it clutters the mind way to much.

So the other day, i was watching this Alaska documentary, beautiful place. I always wanted to visit Alaska, everything is so much less industrial up there, a much more peaceful way of living. but this documentary really disturbed me at one part... where they were showing the townsfolk catching, and slaughtering a whale as part of tradition...it was one of the most intense things i ever had to see... i could almost feel the agony that the whale was thinking...you know? i had that feeling in my gut that something was wrong with that... i mean, who does this? they say its tradition, but do they not know how many whales are left in the world? not many, at all, and they were just slaughtering it as tradition, and when they dragged it onto shore, the kids started climbing over it, and the adults started butchering it and cooking whale, and.. it was all just so wrong in my eyes.

i could go on forever about what im thinking about, but i think this is already long enough... and random enough. sorry if this wasn't my best post. theres too much in my brain if you know what i mean, way to many thoughts to say everything im trying to say.

So todays song of the day will be "Injection" by Rise Against, off their album The Sufferer and the Witness. They are a great band, and i highly recommend them to anyone.

Rise Against's "Injection" off their album The Sufferer and the Witness

I hope everyone has a great day, and remember to compliment someone for something, help build some esteem right?

Farewell

King of Regret

 Welcome one, or welcome all. This post is a bit different. My other posts were posted on facebook, letting people know that a new post was up. but this one, no, this thing, will not be posted on facebook. Consider it an experiment, I want to know who will find this. And for those who do, I have a little something different for you. Instead of my usual topics, im going to do this.

So let me tell you a story in the form of a dream, I don't know why I have to tell it but I know what it means. So just sit back and read, and see the picture im painting for you

King of Regret

Standing in a wake of devastation

In an ocean filled with sadness and despair

Regret and patience fill my mind

Thoughts contaminated of her, Torn asunder

Alas I am impossibly alone

Dearest Portia, so innocent and tranquil, or so it seemed

Your resplendent beauty and grace has laid waste to me

And now I have become death itself,

A destroyer of life

Ti amo, the world is long gone.

Falling down, I look up to the skies

Contrast fading out, in plains of paper white

My eyes were focused elsewhere; I passed her in the night

The future playing out now, the past will overwrite

Come, let us make haste, time is of the essence

For now I understand my grave mistakes

Alas I am not the Prince of Aragon; I am the King of Regret.

My mistakes will be corrected through the purge of flames beneath my feet.

I am taking my last breaths, I finally realize that,

Sometimes, one needs to look in between the lines to find the true meaning.

Portia is as heavenly as gold, and as striking as silver, but my mistake lies within the void.

She was the rock upon which I stood, time to fall.

It doesn’t even matter anymore, I am already here.

Servant, it is time. I am done. The King of Regret will pay his dues.

But I guess we all thought that, one way or another.

Different, but like I said, I don't know why I have to tell it, but I know what it means. This poem I wrote will not be leaked onto facebook for others to simply click.

Now, I will be writing a second blog today with my actual thoughts, and that one will be posted, but consider this a an ancient mystery; those who seek it may find it, those who don't, will not.

Life is like a printer

welcome back readers, thank you

I am tired beyond belief. it seems like every blink lasts a second longer. im typing like a turtle (haha) right now, but i have something to say, and that is what my blog is about. just me having something to say.

so today, im talking about transitions, mainly school, but other things as well. im just curious as to how we, as teenagers, actually transition to teenagers from children, or from teenagers to University students and adults. how the hell does that work? well for you i have a little analogy. life, is like a new printer. at first, everything is apples. everythings good, just like the first part of life, where the biggest problem a kid might have is what toy to play with(in modern society ofcourse, this obviously excludes third world countries and poor families. this is more about the average joe, not specifics). you might need to refill ink and paper, but everything at first seems so simple, so easy, everythings working. Then, the printer starts to jam. paper gets stuck, ink won't go into the printer anymore, text prints in different colors, some features may not work anymore. this, is highschool. teenagers. all of a sudden, it becomes a struggle to be happy, something that before was easy as pie. and if you cant tell by my writing (apples, pie) i really want apple pie. anyways, you have to work out the kinks, and everything seems much harder. simple tasks become time consuming. you know you need to do well, but when your life, the printer keeps on jamming and not working properly it becomes a struggle. so you finally decide to fix your printer, or get a new one. and after education, everything becomes gravy once again. life is a process, a routine that is completed every day, just like the printer needs ink and paper to work, life needs fuel and resources, our education and our friends. i have began to realize that life, isnt as linear as I once thought. I now believe that like life, dreams, and death, the sequence of life, isn't always linear. sometimes, one must die before they can live. I believe that we all shut down, and turn back on later in life. i believe that we dream, die, then live. and once we die, i believe that this isn't death, honestly i don't know what it is, but for me, my perspective is that we die before we live. we have to question our roots, our very structure on which we were built on. now i know this probably sounds like a lot of bull to a lot of people... they are probably thinking.. Tony, are you high? what did you smoke today? well, i hate drugs with a passion, so no, i never will do that. this all makes sense in my head, and its hard to write it down, you know? it happens to everyone, you know what your trying to say, but you can't say it. i tried the best i could. just remember, hold on, the weight of the world will give you the strength to go.

Which brings us to the song of the day
The last line i wrote, "hold on, the weight of the world will give you the strength to go" is off the song of the day, Linkin Park's "Robot Boy" off their most recent album A Thousand Suns. I cannot emphasize enough how much i Love this band, and everything they have made and done. easily, my favourite band of all time, they have been since their debut Album Hybrid Theory, that was 11 years ago. Every single album they have made, i have loved. 11 out of 10 for me. its like every song they make is just for me or something, i dont know, but it is sentimental for me. something really special. They continue to innovate, and for that I thank them for going off the path and doing something unique. This song is incredible, in fact, i wake up to it every morning, and listen to it before i go to sleep every night. give it a listen, you might find yourself inspired.

Linkin Park's "Robot Boy" off their 2010 album A Thousand Suns

I would like to thank all of those who read my blog, its amazing to know that people are actually looking at it. I thank each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart. Remember to compliment someone, you can make someones day by telling them that they kick ass. you can turn a mood from bad to good, from sad to happy. so i encourage you to do this, not only for yourself, because making others happy makes yourself happy, but it can make someones day. a little bit of kindness goes a long way.

I will see you people next time
Ciao :)

Wear your Heart on your Sleeve, Make Things Hard to Believe

Hey everyone, welcome back.
first off, I would like to apologize for the harsh words i said last blog about old teachers. I truly do respect them in all manners, i was just emphasizing how it isn't fair to either the students or the new teachers.

Now that that's off my chest, today im going to talk about people who, as the title suggests, wear their heart on their sleeve which essentially means they are very open about a lot of things. this is bad. im not saying that people can't tell anybody anything, what im suggesting is to be more specific and organized in who you talk to about certain things, and what things you say to those certain people.

So I bet you, reading this blog, have encountered someone like this before. Someone who says everything to everyone. someone who, say in the middle of class work will begin to talk loud and make a big deal about something, that no one really wants to know about. or maybe someone who tells people...everything. Someone who when they make a promise, need to tell someone they think they can trust, instead of just keeping it on the down low like they promised. Im sorry, but i don't want people knowing things that was supposed to be private... you know? this really makes me wonder... if you can really trust people with these things. It certainly wouldn't help my perspective and thoughts about someone if i told them something and the next time i hear about it, its from someone else who really shouldn't know. be more selective in your thoughts and who will hear them...it will come back to bite you in the ass... trust me. you may not wear your heart on your sleeve, but the person you told may..

and also, what is with people and face book statuses about them trying to get attention. they are really easy to pick out... its pathetic. if you want attention, earn it. I am a huge hypocrite when it comes to this, and i realize that. Without even thinking i do this sometimes. I've really been trying to cut down on statuses in general on facebook though, because there's a good chance that a good chunk of my 200 something 'friends' on face book either barely know me, or are not listening. and same applies for anyone else who does this. if you have a problem, you don't have to let everyone else know. because they are not going to help you. your friends and family will. and if they tell other people...well then in my opinion your going to have to question your friendship with them. not all is sacred, but not all is worthless either. sometimes, you have to think in the perspective of the other person...would i want anyone else knowing? would i want to hear about myself wanting to commit suicide, or gathering attention on face book? would i want to wear my heart on my sleeve? would i want everyone knowing who exactly i am, so that life wouldn't be fun? exactly. half of the fun in life is meeting new people and finding new things out about people, through developing a friendship. if you want everyone to know, chances are they don't want to know. tell the people who do want to know, and tell people you can trust. don't wear your heart on your sleeve, keep it inside the body where it belongs.

I know this blog was lacking in inspiration and drive like my other blogs, im very tired and as such i am sorry. this is floating around in my mind, but i could have easily done a better job. today and yesterday, both very disappointing days for myself.  i cant even sleep in tomorrow or Sunday, so sleep is going to be lacking, and energy as well. i am going to post another blog perhaps after work tomorrow, sometime. i have a lot on my mind, but at the same time i don't have the energy to say it.

So today's song of the day is by Slipknot, and off the album All Hope is Gone (2008). The song today, is Snuff. this album is very good, and i could easily pick any other song off this album for the song of the day, as many other albums. today, is just a slow day though. and it fits my mood. so here it is, and I highly recommend this band, and this album. very unique, inspirational.

so to all who have been reading, i sincerely thank you. I dont know why im still doing this, but I am, and I thank you for bearing with my thoughts. I hope you all are still complimenting people. it feels good to help others feel good, and the sooner everyone else realizes this, the better.

I bid you all Adieu :)