Swin Against the Tide

Hey
Welcome back :)
So, I got a lot to talk about... lets see how much typing this will take.

Also, I would like to address my frequent and excessive use of ...
For those who complain about it, its how i write. i have to take frequent pauses and breaks in order to process my thoughts. its like Emily Dickinson with her frequent use of dashes - and such. Nothing made her do that, its just how she wrote and how she thought. so there you go.

onward to me talking to myself!
well like many other blog posts, today's i think is going to be extremely disorganized. Sorry if its a **** to read, and also excuse my language ahead of time.

Well first, I read this quote in this article i was reading that I've seen many times before, and i am sure you, the reader, have also heard of it. its the quote, "If your going through hell, keep going."We, as humans, are constantly adapting to our situations and surroundings. chances are, you're going to look back on that and say, it wasn't too bad, or im proud of myself i was awesome, or i was strong. and it defines you. its a character builder... do things the hard way sometimes. nothing in life comes easy... well i guess some things are but that's more chance than anything. do you think that people become famous athletes because they were born to play that sport? no, its because of hard work and determination and passion and commitment. I bet there were some days where Sidney Crosby wanted to stop playing, or not work out and practice and train... but he did. and look how that paid off... keep going through hell. the prize at the end is worth the sacrifice. its like education... its never appreciated until after the matter. "I hate school"... 50 years later "i wish i would have tried harder in school so i could do what i wanted to do in life". yea school sucks now, but later it will be worth it and the benefits will outweigh the costs. Don't look down, don't look back, can't lose hope, can't lose track. it will all get better, at least that's what they say.

Also, i just saw the movie Act of Valor ... kick ass i recommend it to everyone. very surprising and inspirational... makes me want to fight for my country if the situation ever presented itself. Out of duty and honor, don't get me wrong not because i think it would be fun. i know the military must be hell... but i can't think of many things that are better than fighting for a greater cause and protecting the ones you love. It really surprised the fuck out of me... i went into the theater thinking it was going to be just another war movie.. but it really spoke to me for some reason..


Another thing that really grinds my gears... so to speak... is when people use the word "love" out of context or just throw it around like its meaningless... Love is a very powerful word... it speaks to people. Don't tell someone that you love them if you don't. Don't say that you do if you don't. Don't say it if you don't mean it you ignorant prick.
Also... off that point. Sometimes people really do mean to say something. but don't say it. sometimes... it can make you feel like a fool... and no one knows this more than me. sometimes, love is meant and maybe is the right word to use... but we stray away from it. sometimes, we forget to say to the people we love that we need them, and that we want them there. Nothing hurts more than not saying what you wanted to. Because if you don't say it, you may never be able to. you know what really sucks? When you don't tell your parents that you love them and appreciate everything that they do for you and then you might never be able to say that again....
and also applies for that special someone in your life. if you like someone, tell them how you feel. sure it might hurt, but nothing hurts more than wondering what could have been. no progress is made if no risks are taken. tell them that you need them, tell them that they are the world to you.. oh if i didn't im a fool you see... no one knows this more than me.
Also, why do girls always want what they can't have? (actually, fuck just girls. generally everyone) You know girls, you're wondering where all the great guys are in your life? they are right in front of you, in the friend zone, where you left them out to slowly crisp away in the hot, dry heat of the sun.
 same goes for guys.... want a great girlfriend that you really connect with? chances are, you won't need to search far, but yet we still search for societies idea for perfection when we all form our own idea of perfection... every persons being unique. accepting differences, and their benefits complimenting your imperfections, and your benefits complimenting their imperfections.
No one is "perfect". but someone is perfect for you, and you are perfect for someone. gravity, will pull you two together.

I'm pretty pumped... I got accepted to almost every University I applied to so far... including Brock my #1 choice! Just need to keep my marks up, and im in! such a relief. Brock has the best program in Canada for what im doing... so im pretty stoked about that. my program isn't like saving the world or anything... but whatever. do what you love, and what you love, will love you back. if you love what you do, you will be happy. if you love what you do, things have a way of working themselves out. my 2 cents to anyone trying to figure out what they want to do. just do what you love.


and to finish this article.... im going to state this. some of you might not like this.... but im going to say this. once. and. only. once. when i blog, i take what i believe or what i am thinking and i lay it out for you, the reader to interpret it or get some insight or make what you will about it. I know its probably not right, or whatever the fuck you want to say about it. but do NOT say that this blog is a mistake, that what im doing is pointless.. im trying to be bigger than the rumors, the petty name calling the categorization. I cant take this anymore. I enjoy feedback, good or bad. but do not try to direct this blog, don't tell me to stop. tell me what i can do better, because when it comes down to it i will continue to write this blog even if no one is reading it but me, because it brings internal peace in me.... don't tell me that im running on empty, don't try to start a fight with me, because i will be all too glad to accept. I'm taking the high road going about this though, i wont counter attack... just keep talking while i walk away. call me a sinner, call me a saint. call me an idiot, call me a genius. call me Tony, Call me Anthony. all the same to me. I appreciate compliments like everyone else, so don't think that i don't like it when people do compliment me or the blog, because i appreciate it so much. but do the opposite, call me something negative. ill appreciate it as well. don't try to attack me, because i will just turn it into a compliment and get even stronger. Freak? yea that's me, Geek? yup. Nerd? yup. good friend? i try my absolute best. Ignorant fuck? yup, some could say that. idiot? yup, im pretty dumb. smart? yea i have my moments. point is, im comfortable and confident in who i am and what i represent. I can say now that, i think i know myself pretty well. I have my true, awesome, best friends that have stuck by my side, and i have my values and interests that have not changed. I, am Anthony Francesco Mancuso. This is me. And I think that This, is pretty cool.

k....done. wow... what a rant. for those who made it through that... yea. sorry lol.

Today's song of the day is by Pearl Jam, off their recent album Backspacer. now really i could easily recommend the entire album, its a very easy listen, and really soothes the mind. but the song im going to post is Unthought Known.... yea you read that right. caught me off-guard too. really great sounding band and album... highly recommend.

Pearl Jam: "Unthought Known" off their album Backspacer

I hope some of you are listening to these songs... I'm really trying to expand peoples thought and views in music. because I can listen to a lot of different kinds of music, and respect every type. its all about artistic expression, and different bands and groups and singers and composers or whatever, all express themselves in different ways, which i think is pretty awesome. sometimes... i like to listen to songs without lyrics... just sound. music at its core. it really brings me back down to earth. maybe you do too.... who knows.

well... i apologize if you thought this blog was a waste of your time. and for those who liked it, i thank you as well. i thank anyone who even looks at the blog. it shows interest, good or bad. which is good for me.

I hope you all have a great rest of your weekend, and I hope that those who are feeling down, or sick, feel better soon :) You are all great, and remember to compliment people on some things... you know what happened today at work to me? some customer asked me where a product was, and i told him. and he stopped me half way through explaining where and said "you have an amazing voice! seriously!" and it took me completely by surprise... its moments like that... seemingly insignificant moments like that, that's why i live... little compliments like that make my day. so go tell someone something awesome about them!

that's all for today folks, thanks :)

Ciao

What Happened Then, A Thought for Now

Hey, welcome back to another episode of Tony's Cold Day in the Sun
... by the way, i don't think i have ever really said why i even chose that name for a title to this blog. well first off, the phrases are perfect opposite. The sun represents warmth, heat, light... yet the cold represents...well being cold and darkness and solitude. quite the contrast, i think its great how it represents so many things in just a couple of words. they completely contradict one another, yet we all know that its happened before... those winter days where the sun is out but the cold will not leave (yeah, remembering those recess days at school now right? god i miss elementary). but besides that, I also think it shows opportunity, how the sun still shines despite conditions presented. it still attempts to provide warmth, light, and keep life alive on the planet.... something we can all learn from. you have to try your best in everything you can, and know your responsibilities... and sometimes, despite the odds, you need to stand up and shine. Having a bad day? make it awesome, or at least try. if you don't try you can never succeed, and the golden words from Mr. Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" is all you need sometimes to get something out of nothing. Its also a Foo Fighters song, which is just very unique because their drummer takes the stage and sings this song, while the singer Dave Grohl took on the role of drummer, and played this song. its different, you can almost feel the cold in the song, but at the same time there is this energy... i think its pretty cool. anyways, that is why i chose it, for the above reasons. I thought it was appropriate... but maybe not anymore.

This blog is going under critical review, and a change in style might be happening... everything is in question at this point... I need a new direction, or at least a new take on this blog. I'm currently thinking about how im going to overhaul this blog so that it meets this new style im trying to grasp. So expect these next couple of blog posts to be random at best. Call it a transformation, a transition period.


well, the experiment is complete. for those who don't know, look at the previous posts, some of them are what i call "experiments". you will see if you decide to... anyways for the time being im shelving that idea. i might bring it back, but in good time. for those who did read those, i thank you for the support and time you took out of your day, even if it was just a minute, to read it. I hope you enjoyed them.

also, most of my posts have been more like a rant, not a post. but thats just how I write... and some posts might still be like that. but im going to try to change it up a bit, give the reader more variety than im currently offering. I'm trying to make the best blog experience for both myself in terms of expression, opinion, and freedom of speech; and for the reader in terms of variety. so maybe not for a couple of posts... weeks maybe. but eventually, there will be change.

I want to say more, but im going to keep some info in the dark for now... a lot of ideas are still too rough and too much just in my head to explain. So there's my update. Thank you if you are still reading, and if not, im sorry about wasting your life. go get that 2 minutes back of your life.

There is an.... idea for today though.
First off, i would like to apologize for not writing for a while... trust me i have tried.. I have 6 blog posts still in"review" due to their sheer randomness and potential controversy... and they kind of suck. I might post them later, but tonight this is what I have come up with.
Second. I would like to claim that I am a selfless bastard. why? If your reading this, you probably know me. I sacrifice my own interests for the interests of others... I try my best to make others happy. but this is because I want to make others feel happy, to make myself feel happy... because I know it will. All the wrong reasons right... well that's me. I'm not a saint that's easy to tell, but guess what you're no angel either. we are all equal, everyone has their flaws. love, is growing to love these flaws and accept them. the best kind of love is the unconditional kind (fuck, that sounds like its from Anderson's religion class  or something...).
Third. I would like to state that I have the best friends...seriously. Me and my friends have stuck together for years now... some through all of elementary school as well. We all stuck by our values and interests, and were still standing tall, holding the line. Other friends, have drifted away started drinking and smoking and doing drugs...
Fourth.... which brings me to a very controversial point... that I don't think some people might want to read. but remember, this is a matter of my opinion being posted in writing. if you have a problem with what I am about to say, come take it up with me in person... I would be happy to oblige. Doing drugs is fucking. stupid. say what you want, but this is my opinion, and I have no lack of respect or loss of likeness in people who do drugs, because the majority are awesome people. But i just think its pointless. same with drinking excessively underage. don't get me wrong, a couple of beers doesn't do anything, and won't hurt anybody, but drinking to much (mostly speaking to underage) is also just pointless in my eyes, and like i said above i have no lack of respect or likeness in people who do this because again, majority of the people who do this are really awesome people... but if you need an external substance to have fun or relieve stress or whatever you might say its good for... go back to your childhood roots. remember back in the day when recess was the best part of the day? when in the summer time, even though there was only 15 minutes for one small recess, people would run out to the field with smiles that could crack open the gates of heaven themselves, and just have fun? Now obviously when you grow up interests change and things.... but you don't need something external to have fun. Me and my friends have the best times just hanging out at lunch at school, or on the weekend playing risk, or on Xbox playing a game. I don't know, just my opinion. The other side of the argument is probably much more valid, but this is my point of view.
Fifth. I swear that i was adopted or something... or that i was born in the wrong time period.... i just feel like i don't fit in with many societal norms. Person: "Hey Tony are you going to semi?" Me: "nah" Person: "Why not? its so much fun" me: "id rather just go for a run". Person: ".......... ok :s" (walks away because of socially awkward Tony)


ok... if you have made it this far, you can see that im writing these a little different... and they will continue to become stranger and stranger. but you know what? as stated in one of my previous posts.... fuck it. and im sorry for my language... im just thinking out loud (also stated in one of my previous posts)

Im still going to do a song of the day.... but here is what i am thinking. i might post recordings or videos of me playing the song instead of just putting up the song... or maybe do a video log at the end of each week or something... i have no clue. any ideas or feedback (good or bad feedback, i love it all) would be greatly appreciated.

But today's song of the day is by 30 Seconds to Mars. don't like them? I like them, so yea.... The song im going to share with all of you wonderful people who are reading this blog is... a couple of songs. its hard to get a hold of this bands sound sometimes. so im going to post a couple of songs that I listen to a lot... I hope you all like them:)

30 Seconds to Mars: "Anarchy in Tokyo" off their album B- Sides and Rarities

30 Seconds to Mars: "A Beautiful Lie" off their album A Beautiful Lie (HIGHLY RECOMMEND ENTIRE ALBUM :) )

30 Seconds to Mars: "Echelon" off their self- titled album 30 Seconds to Mars

Well... thats it. Thank you all... and remember.. compliments are pretty cool to give to people.
see you all next time... well maybe not everyone who reads this. but maybe there will be some people who read the next one, and maybe some people who have read the ones before this, maybe even the few people who initially read the experiments.

Anyways :)

Ciao

ITS HAPPENING

Sup people, sorry ive taken so long to write another post... Im only going to post when I feel like it, so that means that they probably won't be frequent. maybe more during holidays, but with school and work and stuff i don't have much time for myself anymore, so during my free time im usually playing xbox with my friends.

So im just doing an update here, so midterms came out and my marks are awesome, 87 bio, 81 sociology and 80 English. exactly what i want, i just need to keep it up (which is going to be dumb).

recently, ive been listening to Fort Minor. yes, those guys who made Remember the Name and Where'd you go?. They only have the one album, and there are plenty of haters out there i know, but this album was a nice change of style for me. the album is actually very good, many of the lyrics actually mean something, unlike the 90% of music these days, and you can tell that alot of passion and work went into each song. the song Cigarette and Believe Me, and Kenji are very inspiring. ill link em down below

Im going to be applying to University any week now, its really intimidating... i shouldnt have a problem getting into my program but still, you know? they make it seem like life or death... just let us learn at our own pace, and lighten up the standards for some programs a bit.. I dont think anyone should need an 80 average for a history program :| high 70s makes more sense

Also, wtf is up with level 4s these days, also known as A's.the description for this level is above provincial standard.. so your telling me that i need to be ABOVE AVERAGE to go to university to get an AVERAGE paying job? i dont know, doesnt make much sense to me

I personally wish social media never existed. i dont want to know what certain people are saying... some things are better left unsaid, unheard, not known to some people. Do i really care about what someone i barely know is saying to someone else? nope, but we all have it anyways. Do i really care about all of the drunk party pictures? nope, but they post em anyways. Do i really care about what my ex is saying to one of my friends? yes i do, but i wish i Didnt know. everyone would be better off in my opinion. but just my opinion and personal experience. im sure it benefits some people, but to me if your going to talk to someone, why does everyone else have to see it? prefer texting because its between you and another, not between you and your hundreds of friends you probably saw once and decided to add them. even msn is better because you can talk to people, and if you want a group, not talking to everyone just the people who need to know.

im doing a movember, which is not working so well. i mean its decent, but im only 17, so i got the Crosby facial hair going. its all for prostate cancer though, so im all for it. personally i cant wait to get rid of it, it looks baaaaaad.

I learned some sweet songs on guitar while i was absent from the blog. not sure how my singing sounds, but im not one to judge my own singing, ill wait for others to. im sure its nothing amazing, but I think there might be worse.. or maybe im just really bad and dont realize it. we will see...

Anyways, i have to get ready for work :| 5 to 10 today, and its midnight madness tomorrow so i wont be blogging for a bit. i actually do not mind work, depending on the day. if there is stuff to do, time flies :) overall i enjoy it

So song of the day will be Believe Me by Fort Minor... music video is hilarious but the song has some good value in it, ill also post other songs below. its off their one and only album The Rising Tied.

Fort Minor- Believe Me: off their debut album The Rising Tied

Fort Minor- Cigarettes: same as above

Fort Minor- Kenji: same as above

Anyways peace out and remember to compliment people, be nice k?

Sincerely, Tony